Choose Your Adventure!


The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.



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    Mass Distraction

    Monkey See...


    Deep Red

    Monkey See (on TV)...

    Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim


    Goonies the Musical!


    Sloth's Song

    Goonies the Musical!


    Takin' It Back

    Goonies the Musical!


    Piano Lessons

    Goonies the Musical!




    Sources for Holiday BumperJam 2014

    • Rhino Home Video FBI Warning (1997)
    • It's A Wonderful Life (1946)
    • Opening Montage:
      • "Carol of the Bells" by August Burns Red
      • "Santa Claus Sings Christmas" (2007)
      • Love Actually (2007)
      • Rocky IV (1985)
      • He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)
      • "How to Light the Hanukkah Menorah" (2008)
      • M&M's commercial (1982)
      • Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
      • Seinfeld, "The Race" (1994)
      • Gremlins (1984)
      • Home Alone (1990)
      • The Year Without A Santa Claus (1974)
      • Hot Fuzz (2007)
      • Bad Santa (2003)
      • Trading Places (1983)
      • Rambo: The Force of Freedom, "When S.A.V.A.G.E. Stole Santa" (1986)
      • Frosty the Snowman (1969)
      • The Ref (1994)
      • Die Hard (1988)
      • The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
      • Saturday Night Live, "Hanukkah Harry" (1989)
      • American Dad, "For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls" (2010)
      • "It's Christmas" by (2009)
      • Community, "Regional Holiday Music" (2011)
      • Scrooged (1988)
      • Santa's Slay (2005)
      • Lethal Weapon (1987)
      • A Christmas Story (1983)
      • Santa Claus (1959)
      • Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)
      • E4 Animations by Treat Studios (2011)
    • The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)
    • American Dad, "Rapture's Delight" (2009)
    • Atari Commercial (1982)
    • "Christmas in Hollis" by Run-DMC (1987)
    • Christmas On Mars trailer (2008)
    • The Simpsons, "Homer's Phobia" (1997)
    • McDonald's commercial (1978)
    • Mean Girls (2004)
    • MadTV, "A Pack Of Gifts Now" (1995)
    • "Nintendo Sixty-Foooooooooour" home video (1998)
    • Will Vinton's Claymation Christmas (1988)
    • ALF, "O Tanner Baum" (1986)
    • Saturday Night Live, "Holiday Wish" (1986)
    • Middle Montage:
      • "Immigrant Song" by Karen O., Trent Reznor, and Atticus Ross
      • City of Lost Children (1995)
      • Black Christmas (2006)
      • Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
      • Saturday Night Live, "Dick In A Box" (2006)
      • Robot Chicken, "Robot Chicken Christmas Special" (2005)
      • "Excuse My Christmas" by Jan Terri (2011)
      • South Park, "Red Sleigh Down" (2002)
      • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
      • Batman: The Animated Series, "Christmas With The Joker" (1992)
      • Tales From The Crypt, "And All Through The House" (1989)
      • The Venture Bros., "A Very Venture Christmas" (2004)
      • Ghostbusters II (1989)
      • The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
      • Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983)
      • Late Night With Conan O'Brien, Unknown
      • Community, "Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas" (2010)
      • Fruity Pebbles commercial (1990)
      • Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
      • "Santa Size Me" by Tunnel Man Jeff (2011)
      • The Shining (1980)
    • The Facts Of Life, "Christmas Baby" (1985)
    • National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
    • "Rock and Roll Santa" by Jan Terri (1994)
    • A Rugrats Chanukkah (1996)
    • Jack Frost (1997)
    • The Sad Off featuring Samuel L. Jackson and Anne Hathaway (2012)
    • "Fairytale of New York" by The Pogues (1987)
    • Folgers commercial (2009)
    • Treevenge (2009)
    • Family Guy, "Perfect Castaway" (2005)
    • "Nutmeg" by John Legend from A Colbert Christmas (2008)
    • Tesco commercial (2007)
    • Elf (2003)
    • Futurama, "A Tale of Two Santas" (2001)
    • The Breakfast Club (1985)
    • Saved By The Bell, "Home For Christmas, Part II" (1991)
    • Donald Duck in "Toy Tinkers" (1949)
    • 900- Number commercial (1982)
    • Santa Conquers The Martians (1964)
    • "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love from Late Night With David Letterman (2013)
    • Closing Montage
      • Toys'R'Us Commercial (1976)
      • Rent-A-Cop (1987)
      • Curtains (1983)
      • How The Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)
      • Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
      • Family Guy, "A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas" (2001)
      • Christmas Evil (1980)
      • "Christmas Shoes" by Patton Oswalt, animation by billybobjomes (2009)
      • We Wish You A Turtle Christmas (1994)
      • The Nutcracker (1993)
      • Transformers Animated, "A Very Transformers Christmas" (2007)
      • Beavis and Butthead



    For realz.


    Zelda Convention - August 19, 2011

    Via Ain't It Cool News

    "I'll have what she's having!"


    Click to read more ...

    Quotent Quotables - August 19, 2011

    You can't start a diet in the middle of the week, that's just stupid.

    - Charles Barkley

    Fett and Maul in the Same Video!

    This is it! This is my thesis, man!

    Two icons together at la---


    ...That's not a good look, fellas.

    Iceland Appreciates the Change

    There's only so much Bjork, volcanoes and magic elves one can take. Here's Bon Iver's latest video, "Holocene."

    BON IVER "Holocene" from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

    7 Best Blooper Reelz of the 7 Past Years

    ...the "Z" means it's fun!

     Some occasional NSFW language and a few minor spoilers.

    7) Dinner for Schmucks

    6) Get Him to the Greek

    Embed...Denied! LAME. Go here to check it out.

    5) Invention of Lying

    Click to read more ...

    You, My Friend, Have a Gift

    Everything in its right place:

    (Via Reddit)

    David Bowie, "African Night Flight"

    Keith Doughty discusses songs, albums and artists that are unappreciated, unknown, and/or unfairly-maligned by the general public. This is Hidden Tracks.

    David Bowie - "African Night Flight"

    One of these days, one of these days
    Gotta get a word through one of these days

    Did David Bowie accidentally invent rap music? Of course not. Don’t be silly. Yet the thought just might enter your mind when listening to “African Night Flight” off of Bowie’s 1979 album, Lodger. The song starts out with various non-melodic instruments and sound effects working together to create a frantic rhythm. Brian Eno, who co-wrote the song, is there to provide prepared piano and “cricket menace” (“little crickety sounds that Brian produced from a combination of my drum machine and his ‘briefcase’ synth,” Bowie said in 2001). The result reminds me more of a modern day rap “beat” than the backdrop of a 1970s rock song. And then Bowie comes in.

    Click to read more ...

    It's Actually Quite Reasonable

    ....well, more reasonable than that, anyways.

    Have you signed Matt Singer's Movie Theater Etiquette Manifesto? Well you should.

    Go here to read it and then follow the links to sign it.


    Go on, do it.

    Verbiage - August 19, 2011

    Today's word of the day is "Fervor:"


    1. great warmth and earnestness of feeling: to speak with great fervor.
    2. intense heat.

    Norm to the Rescue!

    Oldie but Goodie - On Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Norm Macdonald enjoys mocking the Carrot Top movie with Courtney Thorne-Smith, the co-star of the Carrot Top movie.


    Zelda Convention - August 18, 2011

    (Via Reddit)

    Links for All!

    Click to read more ...