Choose Your Adventure!


The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.



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    Mass Distraction

    Monkey See...


    Deep Red

    Monkey See (on TV)...

    Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim


    Goonies the Musical!


    Sloth's Song

    Goonies the Musical!


    Takin' It Back

    Goonies the Musical!


    Piano Lessons

    Goonies the Musical!




    Entries in Quotes (11)

    Quotent Quotables - February 9, 2010

    "Let us first of all and before all be kind, then honest, and then - let us never forget one another."

    Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov


    Quotent Quotables - February 8, 2010

    “Salvation is for the feeble, that’s what I think. I don’t want salvation, I want life, all of life, the miserable as well as the superb. If the gods would tax ecstasy, then I shall pay; however, I shall protest their taxes at each opportunity, and if Woden or Shiva or Buddha or that Christian fellow--what’s his name?--cannot respect that, then I’ll accept their wrath. At least I will have tasted the banquet that they have spread before me on this rich, round planet, rather than recoiling from it like a toothless bunny. I cannot believe that the most delicious things were placed here merely to test us, to tempt us, to make it the more difficult for us to capture the grand prize: the safety of the void. To fashion of life such a petty game is unworthy of both men and gods."

    -- Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins 

    Quotent Quotables - January 28, 2010

    "If life isn't hard, then you're doing something wrong." - David Letterman

    Quotent Quotables - January 26, 2010

    "Comedy without victims is boring." - Joe Rogan

    Quotent Quotables - January 21, 2010

    Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

    - Voltaire

    Looking at you, Taylor Momsen.

    Don't be like her - have a soul and please continue to contribute to Haitian relief efforts!

    Quotent Quotables - January 19, 2010

    Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
    Love, the reeling midnight through,
    For tomorrow we shall die!
    (But, alas, we never do.)

    -Dorothy Parker


    Quotent Quotables - January 12, 2010

    "When you walked a city, wherever you looked, someone had probably fallen in love there."

    - Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold

    Quotent Quotables - Thursday, January 7, 2010

    In the din of fireworks and native drums, of colored lights in the doorways and the clamor of the crowd yearning for peace, Florentino Ariza wandered like a sleepwalker until dawn, watching the fiesta through his tears, dazed by the hallucination that it was he and not God who had been born that night. 

    -- Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

    Quotent Quotables - Tuesday, January 5, 2010

    …I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till I drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.

    -- On the Road by Jack Kerouac

    Quotent Quotables - Thursday, December 31, 2009

    I believe in intuition and inspiration. Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution. It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.

    Albert Einstein


    It Begins!

    Remember when we were young: we looked forward to things.  "I can't WAIT to drive. I can't WAIT to get a boyfriend.  I can't WAIT to graduate." Etc., Etc.  Now it's "remember how great high school was?"  Or "nothing compares to the feeling of first love.  Life was so much better back when we were young."  Somewhere between anticipation and nostalgia we should have been happy.


    -from Too Much Coffee Man: Parade of Tirade by Shannon Wheeler