Choose Your Adventure!


The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.



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    Mass Distraction

    Monkey See...


    Deep Red

    Monkey See (on TV)...

    Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim


    Goonies the Musical!


    Sloth's Song

    Goonies the Musical!


    Takin' It Back

    Goonies the Musical!


    Piano Lessons

    Goonies the Musical!




    Entries in Funny (22)

    You, My Friend, Have a Gift

    Everything in its right place:

    (Via Reddit)


    I Don't Remember That Part....

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @

    Panthro's Getting Too Old For this Shit

    This is 100% real. Whilst recording the voices of Thundercats, actors showed their frustration by using that age old method of letting off steam. No, not killing "Snarf." But cursing:

    Because Kids Suck Too.

    Please to enjoy the red band (as in NSFW language) trailer for David Gordon Green's The Sitter with Jonah Hill - who's fat in the movie but creepy skinny in the intro. Honestly, it's pretty funny and I'm not that big a fan of Mr. Hill.

    Yes, it's just Adventures in Babysitting with more profanity and a protagonist with bigger boobs. But maybe that won't be such a bad thing. Plus JB Smoove is in it and partnered with Sam Rockwell, so that's already better than a half-assed Vincent D'Onofrio as Thor appearance.

    Hard to Represent Queens with a Boner!

    (PS if you like The Whitest Kids u'Know, you'll love next week. And if you don't - well then, suck it, commie)

    Quotent Quotables - July 14, 2011

    Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.

    - Lily Tomlin

    He's the Dick Joke Surgeon Sacred Heart Deserves

    ...but not the one it needs right now.


    Einstein is Ripe for Parody! (part 1)

    From The Kids in the Hall -


    If You Sweat Something, Say Something

    A Nerd PSA that finally shatters the silence...

    (Via Topless Robot)

    Verbiage - July 5, 2011

    Today's word of the day is Morbid:

    Via 4GIFs




    1. suggesting an unhealthy mental state or attitude; unwholesomely gloomy, sensitive, extreme, etc.: a morbid interest in death.
    2. affected by, caused by, causing, or characteristic of disease.
    3. pertaining to diseased parts: morbid anatomy.
    4. gruesome; grisly.

    I Hope Cap Invites Red Skull to Lick on his Balls

    You know...for the kids!

    Tragicomedy Thy Name is The Future

    Verbiage - June 29, 2011

    Today's word of the day is Desultory:

    Via Reddit


    [des-uhl-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee] 
    1. lacking in consistency, constancy, or visible order, disconnected; fitful: desultory conversation.
    2. digressing from or unconnected with the main subject; random: a desultory remark.