Choose Your Adventure!


The Neurotic Monkey's Guide to Survival is dedicated to providing innovative ideas that will alter reality as we know it and could very well SAVE YOUR LIFE. Plus videos of people getting hit in the junk.



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    Mass Distraction

    Monkey See...


    Deep Red

    Monkey See (on TV)...

    Childrens Hospital - On Adult Swim


    Goonies the Musical!


    Sloth's Song

    Goonies the Musical!


    Takin' It Back

    Goonies the Musical!


    Piano Lessons

    Goonies the Musical!




    Quotent Quotables - August 18, 2011

    If there are men in this country big enough to own the government of the United States, they are going to own it; what we have to determine now is whether we are big enough, whether we are men enough, whether we are free enough, to take possession again of the government which is our own.

    - Woodrow Wilson

    D is for Depressing

    That's good enough for me! Tom Waits meets the Cookie Monster. That is all.


    Reel Big Fish, "Hungry Like the Wolf"

    Uncovered is a new segment running every Thursday where we show some pretty amazing covers of songs.


    Enjoy Reel Big Fish's rendition of "Hungry Like the Wolf"


    "Super" (2010)

    Rob Dean examines the overlooked, unappreciated or unfairly maligned movies. Sometimes these films haven't been seen by anyone, and sometimes they've been seen by everyone - who loathed them. This is Missing Reels.

    Sometimes it's easiest to tell the most personal stories - the ones that really lay bare your feelings - by disguising it behind something truly bizarre. If something is seen as weird or ridiculous, then it's easy to dismiss and thus easy for the storyteller to not be hurt by the criticisms. By dressing an intimate truth in the costume of the outrageous, it offers some shelter to the fragile psyche of the creator. After all, critics will go after the garish or surreal before addressing anything deeper or more profound in a work. It's easier, for critics, to deal with the superficial and the shallow, to tackle the obvious and overt, than it is to peer deeper into a work. To be fair to critics, deeper readings of films usually reveal a lack of depth and not a hidden profundity. Sometimes a tentacle is just a tentacle, or a headshot is just a headshot.

    And so the time honored tradition of Trojan Horsing other layers in populist work. Take whatever is popular in mainstream entertainment and hit all the same notes, adhere to the formulas, while subtly slipping in breadcrumbs of your ulterior motive. Sometimes this technique is used for political purposes, other times it's a deconstruction of the entire genre. But, occasionally, it's a way for the artist to reveal something that would leave him ultimately vulnerable, except that it's done in a way that's easy to disavow. "I'm just telling a story of a guy fighting a three-headed alien - I don't see where you get all this 'father issue' stuff!"

    Today's film, Super, told a very universal story with immensely personal elements all wrapped up in a genre fare that could be dismissed by naysayers as ultraviolent or "just another superhero flick." Super is a fun flick that has some great scenes of action, lots of WTF moments and great comedy. But, as I was watching it, I couldn't help but sense that something else was going on - there was another layer to this whole story that seemed to be occurring just beneath the surface. The movie ended and I took to the interwebs and found Devin Faraci's excellent review. It was well written and the only one that I could see that openly dealt with what I thought this movie was about: dealing with a devastating break-up.

    Click to read more ...

    Both Have Surprising Amounts of Feces Chucking

    The latest review from Red Letter Media's Half in the Bag series also shows their experience at Cyphan Con.

    Verbiage - August 18, 2011

    Today's word of the day is "Exultant:"



    exulting;  highly elated; jubilant; triumphant.

    Looks Like Someone Brought Their "A" Game

    Not Tampa, though. No, they went with a Teddy Roosevelt impersonator who spouts well-known sayings like a talking plush doll. All in a bid to get the 2012 Republican National Convention.

    Thanks, Video. I am now embarrassed for Tampa when I'm used to feeling blind indifference and casual hatred towards Tampa. I don't like change!

    (Via Politico)

    Thanks to Keith for the tip!

    Scottie Pilgrim, You're My Hero.

    Zelda Convention - August 17, 2011

    Hey! I don't need your sarcastic comments about my "abilities," robots. That job is taken.

    Give me sites beyond sight!

    Click to read more ...

    Quotent Quotables - August 17, 2011

    Only those are fit to live who are not afraid of dying.

    - General Douglas MacArthur

    The Future of America!

    No, people are right - now's the time to cut spending on education.


    (Video is after the jump because it autoplays)

    Click to read more ...

    I Don't Remember That Part....

    Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
    Cyanide & Happiness @

    Darth Maul is Boba Fett

    A Note Before We Begin: No, I'm not saying that Boba Fett is a clone of Darth Maul or that Darth Maul comes back and puts on a bucket and a jetpack and reinvents himself. Unclench those nerdy buttocks, fanboys - I'm talking in metaphors and larger pictures here.

    As a kid in the 80s, my favorite Star Wars movie was Return of the Jedi. I know, I know. What can I say? It had the most number of weird creatures and monsters and I was always into that. However, 2 of my favorite scenes in the Holy Trilogy came from Empire Strikes Back. The first was the weird, quick-cut Luke in the Wampa cave scenes - again, it was the most like a monster movie and I love me some horror. The second was the gathering of the bounty hunters when Darth Vader is instructing them to bring him Han and the rest. I thought each were so different, unique and interesting. There's lizard guy with the tiny hands (Bossk). Some robots, a bug and a guy with a headwound (IG88, 4LOM, Zuckuss and Dengarr, respectively)! But the one that held my attention was Boba Fett.

    He just looked so cool - he was masked like Darth Vader, had a jetpack, plus he got the job done. And did Vader say something about disintegration? Then there's that scene where he's standing with Vader waiting for Leia and Han to take a seat for the most awkward dinner ever. From the moment he showed up in that Imperial Destroyer to when he got slurped down by Jabba's pet giant vagina dentata, Boba Fett left a real impression on me.

    And I wasn't the only one.

    I didn't know about Fett's exploits in the animated part of the holiday special - this was pre-Internet when Lucas had the ability to purge such things from most of the collective minds of society. I didn't know about any of the comic book adventures or anything else. All I knew was that he looked cool, seemed like a badass and was gone before I knew anymore about him. Fett was an abject lesson in leaving the audience wanting more.

    The amount of time in which he features in Star Wars movies is in direct opposite proportion to his staying power figure - Fett is often referenced in everything from Family Guy to Newsradio to even his very own (quite catchy) rap song. Fett left an impression on me and many others in my generation that lasted throughout the years. From humble beginnings in a vanished cartoon segment of suppressed holiday special, Fett endures. For some reason, Fett had his hooks in me and many other nerds and we wanted more.

    Of course, when you look at his character now and over analyze the films (as we nerds are wont to do), it's a bit easier to see why Fett was so popular. What are Fett's selling points?

    Click to read more ...